I Understand
The headache began from the frontal lobe, somewhere near the anterior premotor cortex. It was a constant pain that came from nowhere. Slowly easing itself in til it had reached the volume of pain it wanted, then resided at that point unmoved. The continual pain if left unchecked would lead to other symptoms. Agitation would increase like lightening on the nervous system. There would be a definite loss of the ability to concentrate, it would soon become impossible to keep focus for long periods of time. These two symptoms would lead to new side effect, restlessness. Restlessness would lead to a myriad of psychological and mental impediments. Sound thinking and reasoning would fall slightly off kilter. After time a feeling of desperation begins to creep in.
Knowing the physiology would not stop the onslaught, not even taking an asprin would stave it off. The cure lies somewhere else. The only cure was to stop completely the compulsive obsessive disorder that had taken over. Like a demon, the illness snuck in without warning and possessed you. Controlling your thoughts and actions, manipulating your emotions and needs.
It was an addictive itch, that fueled a burning inner desire when you scratched it. It felt good. The burning desire within you, the hunger and wanting. It felt good to nurture it. A slightly erotic and evil invocation, that feeling you get when it feels good to be bad.
It started like most things, it was all done in passing. A small curiosity, a passing interest. Then it was almost a morbid fascination, like driving slowly past a car wreck. You had to look, what harm could one small peek do?
But that small glimpse did something you did not expect. It awoke your mind to strange thoughts you had not experienced before. It opened doors to wild fantasies you never dared dream before. It took you to a place you had never known of, a land so strange and foreign you wanted to know every nook and cranny of it. Everything was new. Whatever you expected when you came here, you left with the first free taste of a very addictive drug.
This was no ordinary drug, it was not one to dull the sense and ease the mind. It offers no escape, only bondage.