About Arcane Cognition

I write what i see. I write what I know. I write what I feel. I do not write what i think.

Untitled

     Three drops of water fell from a light green, weather beaten leaf at eye level.  My eyes focused on it slightly, the blur of the surroundings sharp browns against various greens.  The rain, rhythmically falling all about me.  The feeling of being washed clean.  My eyes set back on the tread pathway, carpeted with brown leaves.  I jerked my dark blue canvas backpack so the weight was mainly on my back, and not my left shoulder.  I began walking forward.
     My thoughts couldn’t stray from the path in front of me, not even to my next destination.  I had no idea where I was heading to, or what situations I might find myself in.  I heard a rustling behind me in the woods.  I looked back but saw nothing, no blur of movement.  No sign anything had been disturbed.  Sometimes the mind plays tricks on you, when you’re alone.  I continued forward.  But this time the rustling was followed by a blur out of the corner of my left eye.  I picked up my pace heading down the path.  A thin wire tripped me, as I started to pull myself up I saw him.  Trim build, with good color, brown hair – meticulously cut military style, and the typical black on grey officers uniform.
     “Don’t feel so bad.” the thin man mocked.
     Two soldiers rushed up on either side of me, carrying semi automatic rifles.  Taking an arm each I was escorted to a iron truck.  The transport for prisoners, and refugees.  After being shoved into the back of the truck, the iron doors swung shut.
     “What is it this time?” an aged man sitting on the far right bench asked.  “Revolution?  Dissatisfaction with your home life?  What?”
     “It was nothing.” I replied.  Keeping my mind clear, I glanced out of the iron bars that served as our air conditioner.  “I’m just a traveler, I like to travel.”
     “You mean, you’re running from something.” he pried.
     “It’s nothing.”  I sat on the bench opposite him.
     “Long ride to Cantonuna.  Hate to pass the time in silence.  If we’re going to die together, isn’t better to get to know each other first?” he smacked his gums slightly as he talked.
     “I can’t talk about what happened to me.” I looked him straight in the eye.  “Because if do it will happen again.  What I am running from is: you, me, everyone, the whole idea of this place…”
     “What will happen again?”
     I crossed my arms and sat back against the wall of the truck.
     “I had a wife and kids, before the war.” he began to reminisce.  “My wife, she was beautiful.”, his eyes misted as he spoke.  “Most beautiful woman in the county, and just as sweet and nice.  Everyone wanted my Caroline.  But she only had eyes for me.  I felt like the luckiest man in the world.   And our kids, our kids were the brightest youngest stars in the sky.”  He sighed for a second then continued, “Then the war came.  Took my kids first, forced to enlist in a losing war.  They died quickly, but more mercilessly than my dear beloved wife.  When they came to take the farm, they gunned her down.  Her, my beauty, my one true love.  I had nothin’ left anymore.” he shrugged.  “Let them take the land, I went willingly.  And now here I am, to be executed, because I’m old.  My reward for living to long. For surviving.  What were you before the war?”
     “Nothing, and I am no one now.”
     “You know, you’re going to die.  Wouldn’t it better to let go of that burden before then.  Make your peace.”
     “My peace?” I shook my head and half laughed.  “This is far from over.  I’m not dead yet.”
     “You’re as good as dead sitting in this truck.”
     “You’re never as good as dead.” I replied seriously.
     As the truck stopped to pitch another felon in the back, I caught a glimpse of a general standing on the street corner.  Observing the whole ordeal, he stood at perfect attention.  Black hair and mustache, slightly overweight.  Spit polised and decorated.  I shrunk back further in the bus to avoid his attention.
     My movement caught his attention, he motioned to the officer in charge.  Slowly the door was opened and he stood watching me.  “Trying to escape again, I see.”  He paused looking me over.  “Send her back to the front.” he stepped away.
     “Well you were right.” the old man gummed.
     I emerged from the truck slowly, “I want this man as my personal valet.”  I pointed to the old man.
     “He is over sixty.” the officer interupted.
     The general straightened himself, “You cause a stir, and expect to be rewarded?”
     “Maybe I caused a stir because I wanted to save this man.”
     The general pondered for a minute.
     “You know I could cause a lot of trouble for you, general…” I fished.
     “Maktok.”
     “A few right placed words, and I…” I shrugged.
     “Let her have him.” the general ordered.
     “But sir!” the officer objected.
     He shook his head and motioned for the officer to realease the old man.
     “You will return then?” General Maktok trusted.
     “Of course.” I replied as I grabbed my backpack from one of the soldiers.  “Come on.”, I turned to the old man.
     After three blocks away the old man approched closer, “I’m Talibus Gwedendel.”
     “I’m getting you to a safe haven, where you will be looked after.” I picked the pace up slightly.
     “What?”
     “Keep silent til we get out of town.” I instructed.  “Once we reach the brook we can rest.”
     After about four hours of solid walking, we reached the brook.  The sweet serene setting, the rain clearing up.  I sat down and pulled open the back pack for some bread and cheese.  Sharing it with Talibus, I started in.  “You need to be in a place where you are loved, and not alone.  Where you can be looked after and cared about.  Not under Jaressus rule.”
     “Who are you?”
     “I’m no one.”
     “The general obeyed your command, you have to be someone.”
     “I’m not anyone important, if that’s what you mean.  I’m not part of the Jaressus army, or employed by their rulers.  But I am persued by them.”  I sat back and took a bite of my lunch.  “They employ psionics, you know that?  To read your thoughts and find your local.  You have to guard your thoughts well.  And your emotions”
     “Why do they hunt you, yet respect you?” he took a sip of water from the brook.
     “I don’t know.” I looked at him plainly.  “And neither do you.”  I finished off the last of my bread and stood up.  “And for the rest of this trip, we neither of us are hunted.  Or wanted.  Or even criminally inclined.  The path we take will be perilsome and full of surprises, do not be surprised.  Do not be shocked at anything you are about to see.  Show no emotion on your face, and hide no thoughts in your mind.  We trek forward, and forward we go.  To a destination we do not know yet.”
     “Understood.” he stood up.
     I glanced at the surroundings and started walking west, away from the towns, away from civilization.  I spotted a broken limb about thirty minutes later, and handed to Talibus.
     With his new walking stick, we were already well on our way.  To break the laws that condemn our nation, to stand up and fight in silence.
     The Jaressus rule has been in force five years, a military based dictatorship.  We were invaded, taken over, and their order now stood in the place of our everything.  Our values, our morals, and even our very lives.  They own all the land, distribute it as they see fit, and take it away as easily.  There is no certainty in life here.  One bad crop could be your death, as well as your entire family’s.  A failed mission, a failed anything…  There is no place for failure.  I believe it is a motto.  The Jaressus rank goes as follows… the dictator – head of the army, the land, the people.  The second in command, the Tar – if the dictator dies, this person takes rule, also they have a say in all matters.
     The Tar is whom I have known, a psionic by the name of Naj.  The most powerful psionic on the planet, quickly rising to his power by use of his abilities.  Seating treachery wherever it would lie, and seeding truths with compromise.  A vile man if ever there was one, deceptive to the core.  His outer shell, the body that encased that cold soul, was so becoming.  He was the dream of all Jaressus supporters.  The women cooed, the men awed.  For the cause he would give his strength to the last ounce, his blood for the glory.  His angelic looks, the sparkling clear eyes, all his clever deception.  And he had his eyes on the throne.  And a throne he did call it, for once he gained power it would change.  No longer the dictatorship, but a monarchy in it’s place.  And for his mate, he chose from a long list of biological samples.  Listings from DNA charts, until he at last found me.
     Forever in the background, I never stood out.  I never strived to stand out.  I did not want his attention, nor anyone else’s.  I wished merely to live out my life in confinement.  You see, when the war broke out I was institutionalized.  I was sitting quite comfortably in a padded cell.  Tucked away neatly from polite society.  Because awaiting the coming war, our nation had decided the best way to keep from getting invaded was to put on a good face.  Their beliefs that the right and upstanding principles that held our nation together would impress our attackers.  We would somehow assimilate them into our own society.  So, all of us deemed different were carted off.  Drugged into complacency, compliments of the state.
     The day he arrived, was no great day.  It never stood out in history.  But I knew when I saw him, why he had come.  To scream or cry out would have been pointless, sedation was always readily available.  I followed him, out past the safe secure walls I had called home for almost a year.
     As deceiving as Naj is, I was locked away in a different kind of cell for the next two months.  A room, inside a stately mansion.  Just another worthless Jaressus conquest.  This house, so steeped in history and beauty.  Uncared for, unnoticed, and unloved.  I was to find comfort in that for that short while. The third month Naj constantly sat observing me.  His eyes never straying from any movement made.  My thoughts, then uncontrolled, betraying me at every turn.  It was a hellish motion the day I refused his advances, but this day was marked in history.  For it was the day that turned the tide.  The day Naj went off on campaign.  Thousands were slaughtered, as he extended the Jaressus reign past the neighboring country.  I was to blame.  Since then it has been a battle, I can only save one.  But he can slaughter thousands.  Still, one saved, one is safe.  One more person he can’t touch, one more just out of his reach.  And it is of no real consequence to me.
     I am taken back to face him, to wait months for the opening for my escape.  I struggle to keep from going back.  And had I been on the execution line, the proceedings would be halted, and the entire regimen of officers present would take my place.  I am above the law, but yet, I am subjected to it far worse.  It is all a facade, well placed and well played out, between Naj and myself.  It is public belief that he and are intimate, in a love that could only complicate matters should the other disappear.  In reality, we are at war.
     Naj’s feelings for me are undisputable, there is no doubt in my mind or his.  His desire and passion is complete, his yearning and want is boundless.  His emotions towards me as a whole seemed to hold no boundaries whatsoever.  There never was any doubt in my mind from the second his eyes met mine.  I knew, nothing would ever change it.  But there was something I knew, things that can’t be changed can at least be shut off.  It would be nothing for him to turn off his human emotions, for he already had that.  His slaughter of lives, he had no feeling towards the dead.  He cares not for my feelings in any manner.  He willingly shut off those emotions, long ago.  But these, that he feels for me, he refuses to relinquish.  This is how the war was started.  Why should I bear his burden?  He and I both know he is fully capable of letting me go.  I am well aware he could focus his intentions on another female, he just happened to pick me.  But even though my logic is sound, he stands to war against me.  So here I am, nothing I can say or do will ever change his mind.
     I resided on that estate for a year before the campaign.  After the first two months of solitude, I went through a month of niceties.  He was – polite, considerate, logical, and non threatening.  And had things continued in his favor, I am sure he still would be.  For there had stood a man who had just taken his light and placed it in front of himself.  And he was marveling at what he considered to be the most perfect creation.  Never taking into consideration, that I would actually use my intellect against him.  Never once taking any thoughts as to my feeling on the matter, or my concerns.  He held me prisoner, I was not allowed to walk the grounds.  I was not allowed to leave my room, the door was shut and locked.  A room with no windows, and two guards posted outside the door.
 
 
     And with every escape, he becomes more knowledgeable of me.  It is a pity one time I will be captured, and escape will never present itself again.  But until that time comes, if it comes, I am still free.

Space Ace and His Back Up Band

     The space station diner/club was packed for the newest sensation, Space Ace and his Back up Band. Space Ace himself being some self appointed rock Guru of the 29th century, hiding code phrases to self enlightenment in his songs. (Some banned in thirteen different countries in various galaxies.) This was my first time to see his awe inspiring show, I sat in the back of the club, seated in the most hidden of booths. I can see evidence his word has spread out beyond my own galaxy, there are about fifteen different species crowded into this room.
     The lights dimmed.  Slowly the stage lights began to glow making the smoke in the room more apparent. The Back Up Band began with their opening chorus.  On cue Space stood, center stage, as the light shone down directly on him. The words flowed from his lips, he must have done this a thousand times.  It was like a rhythmic trance chanted over and over. He stood as if he wasn’t even here, singing words he knew there were no way we could comprehend.  Words known only to him in the secret places that he goes when no dares to glance his way.
     The crowd took on a different hue as they swayed back and forth, their eyes slightly glazed.  Mesmerized  by the melodic rhythm and melody that now filled their ears and chambers. Once in a while, as if in some sort of cosmic awareness one of the aliens would shout out a single word in perfect unison with the songs’ beat and tempo. Reminding me of some far off long forgotten church. The music seemed endless, I too could feel something luring me to sleep  Not restful sleep, but the relaxation of the mind.  The pleasure of letting go, slipping into the cosmic awareness.
     I blinked my eyes as I glanced up at the stage, the room has become blurry.  The only coherent thing is that his words are constant. Soothing and beckoning me onward into this state of nothingness.  A place I can not afford to go to, but desperately long to go.
     From one to another in no particular order or time, one by one the aliens would take their turn echoing the words of their leader. The waitress now too seemed to be part of the act, picking up the lack in her own voice.
     Space opened his eyes and glanced into the room, at his creation. They loved him, to no END they loved him. Worshiped him, adored him.  Would be his slaves if he so desired. With one exception, in the back.
     I watched him closely, him so aware of me sitting here.  If he only knew I was just like them.  Worshiping him, adoring him, willing to do anything for him, and all for the same reason. Just mine is not forced or lured, it’s true.
     He continued with the next verse, then the next song.  But it would seem like an eternity.  Til finally my eyes would gaze into his…and an inevitable Journey would begin.
 
 
(footnote – i wrote this back in the 90s to a song called “looking for satellites” by david bowie off his earthling album.  i just heard the song and saw this going down.  i posted this story on bowie.net when it first started….back when i could afford to be on bowie net.  i edited it this morning because of the run on sentences, bad grammar, and mixing of second and third with first person.. blah blah tekkie talk make it stop…. enjoy)

Labyrinth Sequel

     The rain came crashing down outside. I could hear it’s constant pelting on the windows as if it would break them in out of anger. The lights dimming on and off constantly, making me feel as if I was in some second rate horror flick. My head slightly pounding from memories that once were. Memories I was trying to forget. I rounded the corner and entered into the hallway, the lights almost strobing. I sighed, if I could just reach my room it would all be over. I could slip inside the comfort of my bed. Pull the sheets over my head and sleep away this horrible night. Sleep away the pain, escape into a dream world where I was much better off than the one I was in now.
     There was a quick flash of lightning followed by a thunderous clap. The lights had lost their battle and were now officially out. Thankfully I had reached the door to my room just in time. As I reached for the doorknob I got a strange shock. Not willing to let this stop an otherwise perfect night, I closed my eyes and walked inside.
     There was a strange silence emitting from my room. No, it was more than that. The rain had stopped completely. I opened my eyes to see. What now was in front of me was no longer my room but a landscape of green fields, blossoming trees, and blue skies. I must have snapped. I released the doorknob to rub my forehead when I realized… there was no door.
     Sneaking suspicions of sleep deprivation and mild paranoia crept through my head, but that would not induce this. But in the distance I see something, something out of place. As if the whole thing wasn’t. But it seemed the longer I tried walking towards it, the further away it was. I couldn’t make it out anyway, a house, a castle, a town, a village, I don’t know. But it seemed to be some form of civilization, out in here in the middle of paradise lost.
     Well as a waker of dreams, I must admit I did try to wake up. I thought instantly of how this can’t be. I screamed, I yelled, no luck. It isn’t a dream, at least not like one I’ve ever been in before. And there stands that in the distance… I don’t know what it is, in front of me. Taunting me, like it holds the answers and I can’t get there.
     I start to walk to the right for a while, not really noticing things at first. My mind is still whirring about where I am and how I got here, where is here anyway? Then it hit me, no matter how long I have walked, the scenery here looks like I am standing still. Then a few steps in front of me, sits a small key. I know I have been looking at my feet, it wasn’t here a minute ago. It’s about three inches long, gold, shiny… perfectly shiny actually no fingerprints. Other than mine now.
     I glanced up from the key, suddenly I am not so far away from the thing in the distance. And now I know what it is, it’s a very large castle. The funny thing is…I’ve seen this castle before. I’ve more than seen this castle, I KNOW this castle. I have the movie posters, I have the soundtrack, I have the movie, I have the book…I mean I KNOW this castle.
     But it’s interesting to me, why am I here? And this key is to small for the gates, to small for a door…you see the key has shrunk while I’m looking at the castle, it’s the size of a ring charm.
     Now the unfortunate thing is, unlike the character of the story I know… I don’t have any lipstick to mark my way. I don’t have any jewelry to trade. And I of course don’t have any little brother that I offered up to get rid of, or step brother actually, oh who cares. But what I do have is one up on her, I know where I am and what I’m doing. I know what mistakes she made and how not to make them, in a sense smarter. And a lot older too.
     While I’m pondering, I hear the gate open. No little gnome person to guide me the way with misguided advice, or riddle me this and that. No nothing. Except for one thing, faint in the background I can hear ticking. And just as I step forward to start my inevitable journey I see my worthy adversary, if he is indeed my adversary at all.
     You see, I thought it was stupid of the girl to shun his attention. Immature for her to leave him the way that she did, or in any way for that matter. Had I been in her shoes, as it would seem now I am, I would not do that. I of course would stay.
     Jareth’s eyes gleaming with his winning grin on, “You know the rules, you know the hours. You may even know why you’re here. But there is something you don’t know. To get out you must reach the other side.”
     Not like the other girl who made it halfway through the castle and mysteriously returned home. But why would I want to leave?
     The clock slowly appeared, the faint ticking growing louder as it approached, then lessening as it went away. But Jareth was gone.
     Well the main thing is to get to the castle, in past the gate. Glancing up at the walls I was ready to forgo her first mistake. I jumped on top of the wall. It was easier to walk on the top of the wall and make it by jumping the openings than try to search through the maze.
     “This isn’t like the movie.” Jareths’ voice came from nowhere.
     Retractable mechanized spikes came up from the top of the wall, missing my feet by mere millimeters, causing me to jump backwards almost onto another spike. This of course caused me to look down. The walls which had been hard climbing length to me before, were now over twenty feet tall and rising. Unable to keep my balance, and being afraid of heights to boot, I fell.
     It seemed like a never ending fall, weightlessness, waiting for the final thud. But instead I landed softly on a mound of cushions, soft large hand embroidered cushions. I blinked slow and glanced up at a smiling Jareth.
     “You get three falls and then your mine.”
     Sort of like a game, three lives and then game over. But again, before a word can come out of my mouth, he is gone. I roll my eyes and glance around. No matter, I am at the wooded area. Beyond the maze, a good head start, past undesirable places. But I remember her falling asleep here. Not here, actually two steps to the right. Funny how I landed here. Well I’m not hungry, there’s nothing around, and I didn’t make any friends. Which means I’ll have to beat up those creatures if they show up all by myself. Which is funny to me now because I hear a rustling in the distance. I start running to the nearest climbable tree, which is fortunately near a wall. Which is probably where I want to go next anyway.
     I start to climb and glance down as I do to see goblins with sharp spears trying to follow me. But no matter I’m almost there, and right as I reach the top of the wall, my right hand grasping it firmly…A goblin has reached for my left ankle, and has a good hold. Now try as I might to shake, kick, scream, and pull myself away… He’s just a little stronger than I expected them to be. My hand lost it’s grasp and I began fall number two.
     There were no pillows at the end of this fall, instead I ended up standing straight on my feet. I must be in the oubliette because there is nothing but darkness around me, and I’m standing in a pillar of light.
     That is until smiling jack appears.
     Holding up two fingers he then motions to the ever changing clock face, which by the way I think is six hours off. Then suddenly I’m surrounded in a complete circle of crystal balls, it was almost like bing surrounded by a bubble wall on all sides. The crystal balls floated to the ground in straight lines and uniform motions before shattering in pieces on the ground.
     “Do you see them, just like your dreams.” a mocking grin creeps across his face.
     I reached out to touch one.
     “Stop!” he motioned to me as I froze.
     They began to slow down just long enough for me to reach my hand out to grab one. It almost crushed my hand under it’s force. I jerked my hand back shaking the pain off. Then I noticed they were no longer crashing anymore. The crystal balls had faded away. I was alone again and the only piece of ground that was around was the piece directly under my feet. I sighed, no way out, I wasn’t going to mumble a not fair. I knew him to play the cards to his advantage, they were all his to play anyway.
     And besides did I not come here but only to lose? I jumped. It was a dizzying height, and there was no end to the fall. I eventually passed out.
     It’s funny how I awoke. It would seem I was in a box of some kind with red velvet lining, almost like a jewelry box. When the lid was opened I must have been at least three inches tall to Jareth who picked me up with his fingers. In a brief second I was transformed to regular size to see around me a room that was nothing but shelves. Shelves with tiny little boxes floor to ceiling, and a throne sitting in the center. He set my box back on the shelf, opened.
     “You belong to me now, as do all the others.” he motioned to the boxes. “All searching for the one true love. But I tire of them easily, and become quite bored.”
     I’m of course speechless, would I be any different than them. How easy it was for him to catch me, how unwilling I was to fight.
     “Come” we stood in front of an endless dinning room, paintings or women stretched the lengths of the walls. The table set with plates stretching to eternity, dizzying me just looking at it. I turned to walk away, but instead stood in the center of my box, my new home for eternity.
     Jareth sighed as he shut the top of the box, locking it, then placing it back on the shelf.
     Then I realized I had the key to get out all along. Reaching in my pocket I held it, the small gold key. Dare I use it, and what would be his game if I did.