This room is too small, there’s not enough light,
The voices in my head are starting to fight.
There’s a gun in the corner, pointed at my head,
At first it was amusing, these visions of Dead.
And down on the corner, not even half a mile,
I thought I heard promises to make me smile.
But the walls they are closing, it’s too hard to breathe,
As the sun it sets down, on a desperate new breed.
I don’t know what rational I shall explain,
If I don’t get out of this place.
Everything’s moving to fast, as I stand at will,
Watching the blur, as I stand still.
Bumped into and pushed, along to the side,
This train derails, that I decided to ride.
And amuong the wreckage, in the morning light,
I see the reason, I gave up the fight.
But these people are pushy, it’s too hard to breathe,
As I watch the anguish, for which I wreathe.
And I just don’t know what I will do,
If I don’t get out of this place.
For my life is a torture, with no escape.
I’m tired of all of this emotional rape.
The mental abuse, from which I reside,
The evident Comport from which I arise.
I race with my thoughts to a place with no end,
I’m telling you now, i’m starting to give in.
But this pace is too fast, it’s too hard to breathe,
And I don’t know who will take up the lead.
And I wont be held responsible,
If I don’t get out of this place.
7-13-01
Author Archives: Arcane Cognition
I Complain Now
I complain now, but i’ve seen it worse.
All of this hatred in the universe.
Wars that happen, people that hate,
I never can seem to get a break.
Minds so shallow, and closed.. you see,
With lust filled thoughts of vanity.
So yes i complain, for our future is bleak,
our own government constrains us and calls us weak!
Our media lies, and lends it own hand,
to the destruction of youth the best it can.
so no more innocence or magic, create,
no imagination, it’s all digital mate.
So yeah i complain, and my mouth does run,
I complain now, because something still can be done.
1-27-2007
The Things That Make Me Happy
I’m happy when I’m watching the rain,
I’m happy when I’m in no pain.
I’m happiest when the wind is on my face,
I’m happiest when I’m not caught up in the race.
I’m happy when I’m alone and not blue,
I’m happy when I’ve got nothing better to do.
I’m happiest when there’s someone to hold me tight,
I’m happiest when I’m dreaming at night.
I’m happy when the sun fades away,
I’m happy when I see another day.
I’m happiest when I sit and see the moon,
I’m happiest when I get the answers soon.
I’m happy when I’m lonely, happy when I’m sad,
I’m happy when I’m on the run, happy when I’m mad.
I’m happiest when I’m suicidal, happy when I’m not,
I’m happiest when I’m homicidal, my feelings are naught.
I’d be happier if there was someone just like me,
I’d be happier if just once I could see.
I’d be happier if I took on a whole new life,
But from what I’ve seen there’s no point, it’s all strife.
7-26-96
Gone
A garden green now weeds and thorns,
A life once happy now tattered and torn,
A flower once blooming has withered away,
A magical night has turned into a tiring new day.
A bright young face now wrinkled with age,
A wonderful movie start now stuck on a second class stage.
A warm day turned into a freezing night,
A brave person now runs in fright.
A freshly painted house now peeling and dirty,
A sucessful person now is unworthy.
A strong marriage now broken and weak,
A wonderful future now is bleak,
Things that should have been are not,
I guess that’s what we get for thought.
5/31/89
Flicker
Like a distant dream you recall in the mist,
You knew it once, but forgotten it since.
Glancing around for what you’ve misplaced,
You thought you saw it but you’re too busy in the race.
(Did you put your finger on it,
Did you blink and it had gone away.
On the tip of your tongue was it,
Though now it’s so far away.)
I do not hold the answer, don’t bother searching here,
I understand the feeling, when it almost becomes so clear.
You thought you knew it a moment ago, somehow it slipped away,
Waiting for you to sit and ponder, remember it another day.
(Chorus)
I know you see the answers, hidden in my eyes,
Listen when I tell you, ask no questions get no lies.
I don’t have what your looking for, I don’t know what it was,
Should you ever find it be sure to stop and give me a buzz.
(Chorus)
1996
The Failing Suicide Attempt
However much felt, however much dreamed,
However much, my life redeemed.
Songs unsung, lives unlived,
All the things they should’ve did.
The tears uncried, the weeping ceased,
Smoothing out the life’s crease.
Fading laughter, drying eyes,
Listen to the untold lies.
Words unspoken, restless souls,
Raking over all the coals.
Sleepless nights, treatcherous days,
Sinking into morbid ways.
Passing loves, dreams undreampt,
The failing suicide attempt.
Killing lives, stabbing hearts,
Everything must fall apart.
5/16/89
To the Dreamer
To the dreamer who once was the dream,
with incomparable suffering the world has not seen.
A fire, a glint, a gleam in your eye,
A passion fulfilled with no time to die.
Where the bloodstone fields were your solace there,
And the autumn leaves did fall in your hair.
Through the winters cold, till arrival or spring,
No one knew of the dreamer dreaming the dream.
To the dreamer who once was the dream,
Whose love could eclipse the nights we’ve seen.
In tiring drudges, retaking your claims,
You forgot your umbrella and it’s starting to rain.
In the depth of the trenches on the war zone path,
The anger in your eyes showed it wouldn’t last.
And upon the armorments u did lean,
The lonely dreamer of the dream.
To the dreamer who once was the dream,
On starlit nights you lost your sheen.
Through morning light you did awake,
Unaware that it did break.
And though the days were slipping by,
Never did you think to try.
For your life is what you’ve seen,
The dreamer always lived the dream.
12-30-97
Don’t Tell Me Shit
You look at me and see something wrong,
Is it your place to say where I belong?
Who was here first, was it me or you?
I don’t need you telling me what to do.
Don’t tell me shit.
Have you walked a mile in these tennis shoes,
Suicide surround you while you sing the blues.
Do you walk at night alone in despair,
You don’t go where I go, but I can take you there.
Don’t tell me shit.
Are my eyes still to cloudy, swear I can’t see,
Judge all my actions, instead of just me.
What’s behind closed doors, hidden in my eye,
You don’t understand, you don’t want to die.
Don’t tell me shit.
I’m a void of darkness, I run in my sleep,
I’m carrying a secret, I just can’t keep.
The more it comes closer the more I realize,
I’m in over my head, and I can’t reach the sky.
Don’t tell me shit.
So don’t get to close, or you’ll walk on glass,
From the shattered dream that wasn’t meant to last.
Cause there’s no hope for me, it’s already been to long,
Just let me survive, til I can no longer hold on.
Don’t tell me shit.
2-6-97
Did You Think
I saw you walking with him
I saw you talking with him
Did you think I wouldn’t notice
Did you think that I was blind
Did you think I wouldn’t care
That he was stealing what was mine
(What did you expect me to do
Do you think I don’t love you
Did you want me to lay down and die
Fight for you or give up and cry)
Have I treated you bad
Have I ever made you sad
Do you think I don’t love you
Do you think that I don’t care
Do you think I’ll let him have you
While I’m just standing there
(Chorus)
What did you think I would do
Let him have his hands all over you
Did you think I wouldn’t react
Did you think I’d walk away
Did you think I’d really lose you
Because you want to act this way
(Chorus)
October 2 1995
I didn’t stand a chance
My hands were tied behind my back,
as I watched the final heart attack.
How could I cry, or shout, or scream, or care,
When gagged I was, all I could do was stare.
And stare I did with much chagrin,
With NOTHING to change the state I’m in.
And there they come to haul him away,
And I must plot to save the day.
My stupid hands, my stupid heart,
I hate this place, it falls apart.
I loose, I gain, I turn away,
I wonder if I will ever live to see the day,
When the fighting stops and the anger subsides,
The confusion bails, and the loneliness dies.
My hands were tied behind my back,
as I watched the final heart attack.
How could I shout, or scream, or care,
When they would never let me be there?
10-06-2006