I know she holds within her, your very fragile soul.
Your heart, your mind would not exist if she lost control.
I do really love you, though in those nightmare days gone past,
You tried your best to kill me, to be the lone one in the cast.
My heart, my soul, my love, my life, I am your everything,
Without the breath within my lungs never again will you sing.

Now I watch your storm as you muster to survive,
I know my broken body isn’t up for this ride.
You smile as my attackers number four and five,
That I will be too weak and have to keep you alive.

I know she holds within her, all your dreams and hope,
Without her constant approval there’s no way for you to cope.
I do really love you, but in the hellish dreams you cast,
You tortured me to no end and sacrificed my past.
My beauty, my hair, my quick thinking wit,
Without my heartbeat there will be no more of it.

Now I watch your storm as you muster to survive,
I know my broken body isn’t up for this ride.
You smile as my attackers number four and five,
That I will be too weak and have to keep you alive.

I know she holds within her, all you despise and hate,
Without her attention your whole life would dissipate.
I do really love you, though every time I try to dream,
You preach to me of Mine until you make me scream.
My steadfast reserve, my humor, and my will,
Without my thoughts, it’s you I intend to kill.

Now I watch your storm as you muster to survive,
I know my broken body isn’t up for this ride.
You smile as my attackers number four and five,
I will never be so weak that I have to keep you alive.

1-18-2011

I sat in the rain and watched it play,
Down my solemn window pane.
And through the rhythm, i reached for your hand,
But you took solitude, away have you ran.
I did but just once wish to feel some compassion,
To stand at your side, not alone.
And you turned me away for the fields of passion,
So to my silence condone…
Why, when i long to trust,
Must everything turn to lust?
I wanted to hold you, to feel you anew,
I wanted to cuddle, til the morning dew.
But to be so close, is not a must,
Must everything be torn from us?
Should i cry before i wake,
Or try to make another date?
Is all you see, my skin surround,
Do you even care if i’m not around?
Why, when i long to trust,
Must everything turn to lust?
I long for the warmth of an embrace,
I want of life more than i can taste.
But you push me aside with waves of want,
My emotions died, to countless to flaunt.
And though i may live another day,
And though my life may seem to stay,
And though my heart sinks into the abyss,
And i know not how much more i can take of this.
Why, when i long to trust,
Must everything turn to lust?
12-1-2001

I was standing on firm ground before it did shake,
I was watching your moves until it was too late.
A counter attack, a swipe clean to my heart,
Did you ever imagine the War you would start.

A trickle of blood to relieve my pain,
There’s no antidote for this deadly bane.
You say there’s no difference between love and hate,
Toss fire on my life, then turn…  Checkmate.

Now I pray for death, without a sound,
I’m no longer standing on sacred ground.
I’m battle-worn, I just want to kill,
For the War once started, I will still.

Then in rumbled debris, I will start a new,
Til I see your shadow in the morning dew.
And stand on the ground, until it does shake,
Watching your moves, until it’s too late.

2-4-97

Take my heart, no rip it out
Walk on me til I scream and shout
Don’t let me see stars in your eye
Can’t fall in love, I’ll make you cry
Fight with me, Terror wishes fulfilled
Can’t handle much more, once more grilled
Cast me in fire, watch my soul burn
As the anger continues, the world churn
I’m still in stiches because of you
For with all of our hatred there’s nothing to do
Fight for the Right, the right to be free
Fight for destruction, for the end of Me
You grab and you take, molest all in sight
For fear you celibrate, dance all through the night
And screaming for pity, will do no avail
Seduce them aboard, then take them to Hell
For sure I am better, I quicken my wit
In the depth of destruction, I move quick
And all of the sides will come crashing down
The fight continues on the debris filled ground
I’m still in stiches because of you
For with all of our Love there’s nothing to do
Our fear of approval, our fear of emotion
With no system of touch, the plan is in motion
But I’m still in stiches because of you
For you’d sewn me together and I came unglued.
5-15-97

You say my words are deceiving,
And I have no plan of leaving.
I tell you my life is a wreck,
Because sooner or later you check.

I sing a song of love so true,
Sung only the words for you.
Of how we were always meant to be,
Because sooner or later you look to see.

I show you the stars in my eyes,
I tell you not to listen to their lies.
I give you much more than you can bare,
Because sooner or later you long to share.

I flirt with you in victorious way,
Condemning you to a life of Stay.
And while in a corner you are shoved,
Because sooner or later you show me love.

3-6-98

I know you saw me standing
Please stop the rain
And I don’t know what you’re planning
Please stop the rain
It isn’t what you think, he and I
And when I turn and look at the greying sky
I see the tempered storm that brews in your eye
How could you even think, that I would lie
Please stop the rain
I only wanted to please you
Please stop the rain
I just did what I could do
Please stop the rain
I wouldn’t do it on purpose, to make you cry
And now on the horizon, I see a darkning sky
I sit here and pray, for the ground that’s high
For the anger you posses, a feeling I should die
Please stop the rain
I know you don’t believe me
Please stop the rain
But it’s you who do decieve me
Until you stop the rain.

6-5-96

I see all around me the Power you Posses,
And I see the magnitude equaled in your caress.
Oh how you rule my life, with your passion,
And the others do collide and come down crashin.

A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.

I remember the way you used to try to control me,
Fear gripping nights, they now enthrall me.
For I always knew, that truly deep inside,
Without me, there would be no Dark Ride.

A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.

I see you outside me for everything you are,
I accept all of these things, though I don’t go far.
For if it were my Power, T’would be the other way,
Rest assured just like you, I would make you stay.

A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.

Our esoteric love leaves nothing in it’s wake,
And beyond all else the Bonds shall never break.
For we two see each other for whom we Really are,
And no harm can come to us from under this Star.

A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.
8-3-96

Does it make you happy to believe that you brought me down,
When you sit in the night and there’s no one around.
Do your days make you happy, as the light’s on your face,
Til the shrouded night comes to your desolate place.

But you can’t run from the stillness in the night,
In the silence, in the solitude there is no light.
And the prayers of the innocent do not understand,
How one so alone, so violent can stand.

Do you believe it will change in magical view,
Will people gather around and worship you.
Does it make you happy to put them in their place,
When all along only you look you in the face.

But you can’t run away from the stillness of the night,
In the silence, in the solitude there is no light,
All the endless drone going on and on,
But you will never think you’re wrong.

No pity comes from the calls of help, no one is around,
In the depth of your weary days, when there is no sound.
Your mind’s all a clutter, there’s no way out,
Don’t bother yelling, there’s no one to hear your shout.

But you can’t run from the stillness in the night,
When there’s no one there to turn on the light.
I hope your anger will bring you joy,
As you keep to your lonely ploy.

7-24-97

Dearest mirror can you see,
deep inside my fantasy.
Can you see this blood soaked plain,
For I  am sure  I am going insane.
I do not want him in my mind,
his thoughts for me they are not kind.
Oh Mirror Dearest can you tell,
this demon takes me straight to Hell.
There’s no disguising what I feel,
I no longer know what is real.
I do not want to hold his hand,
He doesn’t know just Who I am.
Dear Dearest Mirror does he know,
that my hate from love does truly grow?
And I will leave his corpse down there,
where he can lay and forever Stare.
I do not want him in my life,
I only want him to feel my knife.

4-5-2007

My eyes are blurry, my sights are low,
I’m trying to hide, but there’s no place to go.
You can tell I’m in for stormy weather,
For all my days are melding together.

You hold nothing but Dangerous Intentions.
Running and chasing in all directions.
Leave me wondering, what can be done,
To vanquish your forces before the sun.

I see on the horizon a fading light,
The door once closed, I’ll have to fight.
Oh future seer, seeped in knowledge,
How lost am I, in your foliage.

I learned my limit, I learned my stay,
I learned to run, I once walked away.
And as I prepare to make my stand,
I am afraid, of who I am.

2-11-97