I woke up in my bed today, to the ticking of the clock,
the silence here screams loud as words, the day is going to start.
“Alone” my name is branded on everything I do,
every single day here there’s a Me but not a You.
Alone I bathe, I eat, I sleep,
I drive to work, alone I think.
At lunch there is a table of one, waiting patiently for me
I feel them passing by and staring, at the animal that is Me.
I live out my sentence in Solitary without parole,
in a land with no governor to pardon for my soul.
Alone I walk, I sit, I dream,
alone I do, do everything.
In the evening I return, to the darkness and silence,
to sit alone and contemplate, why did I try this.
“Alone” my name is branded on everything I do,
I live everyday where there’s a Me but not a You.
11-18-2011

The thunder roar, the lightning crash,
How much longer will the candle last?
I glance outside my window pane,
At the grey sheeted rain.
It is so cold during these damp days,
The wood so wet that it wont blaze.
I stay here shut up in this room,
For in the Darkness no Flowers bloom.
1-23-98

An empty void, a thousand people can not fill,
A quickened pain, that for a cure there is no pill.
A deep chill, to the bone for which no one can warm,
Aloneness so absolute, even among this swarm.
And still the silence draws on,
Until the wintered dawn.
Will they find me frozen here,
From the dampness of this chill?
A loss so costly, that no money can pay the bill,
A hunger so great, that it can never have it’s fill.
A look so lost, that it may never find a way,
aloneness so absolute, though there is a place to stay.
And still the silence draws on,
Until the wintered dawn.
Will they find me frozen here,
From the dampness of this chill?
Though my friends are many, and emotions deep and wide,
And in my silent solitude, I do run and hide.
Oh the feel of worthlessness, bitter and complete,
Aloneness so absolute, I only hear my heart beat.
And still the silence draws on,
Until the wintered dawn.
Will they find me frozen here,
From the dampness of this chill?
12-15-2001

The dreams flow on to the paper,
The dreams she would not have.
The dreams she would’ve had later,
If she didn’t end up on a slab.
The cries flow on to the letter,
The letter she was writing,
The letter said she’d be better,
If she had continued living.
The lives she shattered on to the floor,
The lives she always touched,
The lives would have been so much more,
If she had thought so much.
The sorrow she felt as she died,
The sorrow she had to end,
The sorrow was the reason she died,
If only she’d had a friend.
5/20/89

Stranger and stranger I seem to get,
The world pass me by,
Just when I though my ways were set,
I do not know why.
Things that could not possibly be,
Seem to drift past,
What is real and reality,
It’s going much to fast.

I do not control certain things,
This is not who I am.
I live now in a world of dreams,
Life of shifting sands,
I’ve changed my look to a stranger,
I’ve lost all control,
I didn’t catch the sign of danger,
Now what do I know?

What has become of me,
I now dress in black,
What am I supposed to be,
My belongings in a sack.
Now this world has changed,
I live in the twilight zone,
My clothes, my hair are disarranged,
I speak in no known tone.

I am strange, I see myself,
The world pass me by,
I am nor but someone else,
I stare at the sky.
The world has left me far behind,
I no longer change,
I like the stars must shine,
Why am I so strange.

1-2-90

The skies are as gray as my eyes and my hope,
I’m drowning but no one will toss me a rope.
I’m yelling for help but there’s nobody here,
A parade goes by as the crowd does cheer.
But there’s no one here,
There’s never anyone here.
The raindrops fall like the tears of pain in my eyes,
But there’s always something that stops me from lies.
A siren calls out past the thunderous roar,
And the rain continues, it’s starting to pour.
But there’s no one here,
There’s never anyone here.
The wind whips the trees, the leaves fall like dreams,
I’m searching for answers but I don’t have the means.
And there’s always some thought in the back of my head,
As the rain still falls down, it’s like I have said.
But there’s no one here,
There’s never anyone here.
Look out the window, this rain is my tortured life,
This wind, this thunder, waiting for the lightning strike.
Wet and cold, damp and chilling, my heart does beat,
Though no longer are there any people on the street.
And there’s never anyone here,
Perhaps I should just disappear.
9-4-96

A chance to live, a chance to dream,
A chance to have been anything.
I lay here in my bed awake,
And dream of you until daybreak.
The silent tears, for which I’ve shed,
The sickening silence that runs through my head.
And I sit and I sigh, I’ve nothing to do,
Except sit in the silence missing you.
A chance to breathe, a chance to see,
A chance to be what I want to be.
I sit here in my room alone,
Thinking of things you have shown.
The words unspoken, that I hide,
The meaningless conversation has died.
And I sit and think, I’ve nothing to do,
Except sit in the silence missing you.
7-25-2001

I am alone, all in darkness,
I no longer love I am heartless.
Surrounded by a raging crowd,
I sit alone, I am not proud.
I love no one it’s such a shame,
I lost the love, I am to blame.
Misery’s not played by all,
I sit alone and go through withdrawl.
The love we shared is now gone.
I can no longer carry on.
Dreams are all I have to give,
I sit alone, no will to live.
All I wanted and needed was you,
You went away when I was blue,
Even though it was for a little while,
I sit alone, I can not smile.
When I needed you, you weren’t there,
I couldn’t tell you, I wouldn’t dare,
There is no hope now, I am gone,
I sit alone My sadness will last long.
You’ll never know how I needed you,
You’ll never know my love was true,
Life goes on in all it’s ways,
I sit alone, and will for days.

1989