Your prose is much to flowery, your poetry way too dark,
We like your rhythm and the rhyme from which you embark.
We can not market such depression or the word Alone,
Though we appreciate your understanding of loneliness to the bone.
Your words are too depressing, your verses too macabre,
If you continue to write this way, as a poet you will starve.
We understand the words you write, that many feel this way,
We can not sell all of your sadness, despair, and dismay.
Write to us of happy things, give us all some Hope,
Make us smile, make us laugh, try to help us Cope.
Try to change your dark metaphors into songs of light,
We don’t need to be reminded of how we lost the fight.
Your prose is much to flowery, your poetry way too dark,
Though we like the rhythm and the rhyme from which you embark.

1-18-2011

One day the Ghosts of the past will die and I will truly be free,
One day all the mistakes I’ve made no one will be able to see.
One day I will stand, and there will be no one to say,
anything to me about that day.

Did I bury the past on unholy ground?
Forever to haunt me without any sound?
How do I exorcize these?  Nothing does last.
I would rather die than be haunted by my past.

One day, just one day, if I live that long,
One day, just that day, I will sing my song.

One day the Stalkers will fade and I can once again feel free,
One day the things I said wont be remembered and I can be me.
One day I will sit in the silence, and alone I will revel,
everything else can go to the Devil.

I can not reach out or try to be human,
I must be the monster inside that is looming.
There is no comfort, no one I can trust.
I would rather die than live as I must.

One day, just one day, if I live that long,
One day, just that day, I will sing my song.

10-31-2014

There’s a shadow on the wall,
There’s screaming in the hall.
And up until just a moment ago,
Something I was supposed to know.

Standing in the Darkness.

My actions violent my words full of hate,
Caught in a prison I have to escape.
I wonder if things were ever clear,
Now that I am standing here.

Standing in the Darkness.

Wait for the Dark to envelope me,
Emotions gone and too blind to see.
There’s no dream no reason to rhyme,
For deep in the darkness there is no time.

Standing in the Darkness.

Eyes clouded over I hear a dark call,
The world around me has started to fall.
The entrance sealed shut from when I came in,
No key to the door, unless it’s a sin.

Standing in the Darkness.

My world has collided and smashed to the ground,
Fear, desperation, hate, anger, all without sound.
As the feelings I had seep somewhere outside,
I pay with my life for this dark, dark ride.

Standing in the Darkness.

2-10-97

There was a disturbance in the air
A turbulence within despair.
And when I turned to glance at the wing,
I found myself staring at a thing.
The words I could contain no longer,
Pilot, can you tell me how much farther?
The air is thin, my ears wont pop,
That thing outside will not stop.
How long have I been in the air,
Will that thing let me get there.
I realize I’m starting to become a bother,
Pilot, is it that much farther?
I got this ticket in the mail,
Because I refused to set sail.
And stare at things deep in the sea,
Clambering their way up to me.
Though I have a feeling now I would rather,
Pilot, can you tell me how much farther?
To the place I’m going, if I should land,
Is no place that I really wanted to stand.
The thing on the wing is starting to move,
I think it’s becoming part of my groove.
I start to pray to the Father,
Pilot, will it be much longer?
1-29-98

Here I sit and try to write,
I stare at the page so white.
Displayed on a moving screen,
a past of not so serene.

Clear my head, I know I must,
blow off this season of mistrust.
Clear my mind from what I seek,
for the chains that bind make me weak.
Trying to break a link in the chain,
the past too strong, I’m paralyzed by pain

Here I sit and try to dream,
I’m moved back to that dastardly screen.
I lived that life, it is the past,
burying it does not last.

Clear my head, why can’t I see,
the past becomes an undead zombie.
Clear my mind, when will I wake,
To stop counting each and every mistake.
It does not matter, again and again,
down I drown, paralyzed by pain.

Here I sit and try to wish,
my life had turned out better than this.
But the past will never let me go,
this damn ghost keeps stealing the show.

Clear my head, I know I must,
forget the lies and mistrust.
Clear my mind from what I seek,
before my future becomes too bleak.
And pick the lock that holds the chain,
that keeps me paralyzed by pain.

2010?

Did you see her crying, her tears fell to the floor,
Her body it lay dying, as her soul cried out for more.
There was someone whispering, just outside in the hall,
The doctor had done his dealing, to the shadows on the wall.
She would never experience love, or loss, or pain,
She would never see marriage or her children playing in the rain.
She would never understand the beauty of mankind,
She would never know the love inside to bolster with her mind.
Did you see her crying, her tears fell to the floor,
Her body it lay dying, as her soul cried out for more.
She was but a young maid, not barely seventeen.
And all of us, we wept for her, what she has not seen.
She would never see the hate, or passion in their eyes,
She would never know the lust, or listen to their lies.
She would never experience what we know as grief,
She would never understand how her life is incomplete.
We can not stop the poison, we can not undo what’s done,
We can do naught but stand here, and wait for what she begun.
Did you see her crying, her tears fell to the floor,
Her body it lay dying, as her soul cried out for more.
11-11-2006

This room is too small, there’s not enough light,
The voices in my head are starting to fight.
There’s a gun in the corner, pointed at my head,
At first it was amusing, these visions of Dead.
And down on the corner, not even half a mile,
I thought I heard promises to make me smile.
But the walls they are closing, it’s too hard to breathe,
As the sun it sets down, on a desperate new breed.
I don’t know what rational I shall explain,
If I don’t get out of this place.
Everything’s moving to fast, as I stand at will,
Watching the blur, as I stand still.
Bumped into and pushed, along to the side,
This train derails, that I decided to ride.
And amuong the wreckage, in the morning light,
I see the reason, I gave up the fight.
But these people are pushy, it’s too hard to breathe,
As I watch the anguish, for which I wreathe.
And I just don’t know what I will do,
If I don’t get out of this place.
For my life is a torture, with no escape.
I’m tired of all of this emotional rape.
The mental abuse, from which I reside,
The evident Comport from which I arise.
I race with my thoughts to a place with no end,
I’m telling you now, i’m starting to give in.
But this pace is too fast, it’s too hard to breathe,
And I don’t know who will take up the lead.
And I wont be held responsible,
If I don’t get out of this place.
7-13-01

However much felt, however much dreamed,
However much, my life redeemed.
Songs unsung, lives unlived,
All the things they should’ve did.
The tears uncried, the weeping ceased,
Smoothing out the life’s crease.
Fading laughter, drying eyes,
Listen to the untold lies.
Words unspoken, restless souls,
Raking over all the coals.
Sleepless nights, treatcherous days,
Sinking into morbid ways.
Passing loves, dreams undreampt,
The failing suicide attempt.
Killing lives, stabbing hearts,
Everything must fall apart.
5/16/89

My hands were tied behind my back,
as I watched the final heart attack.
How could I cry, or shout, or scream, or care,
When gagged I  was, all I could do was stare.
And stare I did with much chagrin,
With NOTHING to change the state I’m in.
And there they come to haul him away,
And I must plot to save the day.
My stupid hands, my stupid heart,
I hate this place, it falls apart.
I loose, I gain, I turn away,
I wonder if I will ever live to see the day,
When the fighting stops and the anger subsides,
The confusion bails, and the loneliness dies.
My hands were tied behind my back,
as I watched the final heart attack.
How could I shout, or scream, or care,
When they would never let me be there?

10-06-2006