It’s so quiet here since I made the choice,
it seems so strange without the chaos,
the silence no longer echos your voice,
or the fighting and anger among us.

I wonder what I am to do with my time,
The empty hours stretch to fill,
So lost and alone yet everything in line,
if my strength can uphold my will.

I will not miss your phantom touch,
nor your imaginary embrace,
not the romantic words you use so much,
to try to keep me chaste.

I wonder what I am to do with my time,
I look at my unfulfilled life,
So lost and alone yet everything in line,
knowing I’m not your wife.

I struggle now with a war in my soul,
to end this unhealthy relationship,
I pray I have the strength to let you go,
so I may see the end of this.

I wonder what I am to do with my time,
The empty hours stretch to fill,
So lost and alone yet everything in line,
if my strength can uphold my will.

6-5-2015

You’ve been here too long, this life is a bore,
You make the very art of living a bore droning chore.
We’ve done everything together, nothing here can be New,
we’ve explored every nook and cranny, there’s nothing left to do.

then the fight starts, because i start to see
something that is not you, something that is Me.
you can’t let me escape, even though you despise,
all of my hatred, and all of my lies.

The first strike, seduction, oh what i am worth,
How you worship the wonderful day of my birth.
Everything i am, everything i do,
holds a special meaning to you.

but i prevail, to tell my tale…

Your second strike is much more deep and detailed,
into my mind you will seep, my train you’ll derail.
you’ll fracture my thoughts and reality,
and make me question my sanity.

lest i should prevail, to tell my solemn tale…

My ground is unstable, the horizon is gone,
i have only the memory of it to carry on.
You feel justified as i watch you smile,
to get it back will take me a while.

while you prevail, to tell your tale…

of how we were always meant to be,
how can i be so blind not to see?
who can Love then turn their back,
and not expect this big attack?

But i am not moved, i tire of this song,
we’ve been at this party for far too long.
and now i want something different, something new,
now i want something that is not me and you.

5-4-2015

The cold wind is blowing, the temperature drops low,
instead of the rain now it’s starting to snow.
I stand here alone without a word to say,
there was nothing I could do to make you stay.

You say it was hatred, you said it was spite,
I say you are always wrong and I am right.
You said it was twisted and I am confused,
that I mangle the truth to keep me amused.

You say I spin lies, you say I manipulate,
and that you have taken all you will take.
You no longer want to play this game,
that makes you hang your head in shame.

The cold wind is blowing, the temperature drops low,
I want desperately to leave but I’ve no where to go.
I stand here alone without a word to say,
but there is no one to hear it here anyway.

12-3-2014

You tell me things no one else can say,
You tell me you want me to be this way.
You show me sights of delightful surprise,
You show me the love hidden in your eyes.
You promise me a bright new life,
You swear to me I am your wife.
You say that there can be no escape,
You tell me that this is my fate.
You tell me I’m welcome to try,
Any escape that catches my eye.
You want to wrap me in fine jewelry,
Hug me, love me, watch me, do me.
You know me like no other can,
You read my mind and hold my hand.
You show me things that others would swoon,
You profess your love upon the moon.
And any other woman would subside,
On your romantic ride.
Castles, flowers, symphonies, chorus,
Candy, confetti, oh how you adore us.
You show me how others can be unfaithful,
You show how you can turn the table.
You tell me there could be only one,
To hold me at night and pray for the sun.
You show me your fire burning bright,
I feel passion all through the night.
You show me these things I will never see,
Because you are not standing in front of me.
2-10-98

If I spoke of love so true,
And dimmed the lights for me and you,
If I wrote words to cheer your heart,
And I swore we would never part…
If I continued though you begged me to stop,
And I held you while in the tide we’re caught,
If I kissed away your tears,
And swore to stand here through the years…
If I spoke my heart to yours,
And my desires more than you endure,
If I whispered softly in your ear,
And my words seemed muddled and unclear…
If I glassed your eyes over…
If I made your heart skip a beat…
If I made your breath stop for just a second…
And you thought you would never be the same.
Would you do the same for me?
If you spoke words of love so true,
Dimmed the lights for me and you.
If you wrote words to cheer my heart,
Swear to me we would never part.
If you continued though I begged for you to stop,
And held me while in the tide I’m caught.
If you kissed away my tears,
Stood beside me for all the years.
If you spoke your heart to mine,
Desired me till I was blind.
If you whispered softly in my ear,
Until your words became unclear.
Would my heart skip a beat?
Would I too become weak?
9-24-01

There was a place in my heart
Where you made your start
Deep inside it’s seams
Lovers in our dreams

There’s a hole in my soul
I could never let you go
Never could forget
The tears that I wept

Where are you now, Your love’s so far away
Where are you now, Why couldn’t you just stay
Don’t you realize, There is no one but you
Don’t you realize, My love was always true

There’s something missin in my life
Come back and make it right
I don’t understand
What’s in anothers hand?

You’re lost within my dreams
I’m lost without you it seems
Why can’t I be like them
Cast you off on a whim

Where are you now, Your love’s so far away
Where are you now, Why couldn’t you just stay
Don’t you realize, There is no one but you
Don’t you realize, My love was always true

1996

I want your body I want your soul,
Over you I want all control.
I must have you.

I want to kiss and hold you tight,
I want and need you every night.
I will have you.

I lust your body I lust your style,
You make my fantasies worth the while.
I must have you.

I need you now you make it right,
You wont resist me even with all your might.
I will have you.

I want your body I want your time,
I must own you you must be mine.
I must have you.

And if you leave me in the night,
I’ll search and find you it’ll be alright.
I will have you.

You will be chosen you are the one,
I’ll play your games you are so fun.
I must have you.

And if you find another place,
I’ll bring you back you are my case.
I will have you.

And if you find someone to take my place,
I’ll get you back I know your face.
I must have you.

You are mine,
All of the time.
Through thick and thin,
I hold you from within.
1989

All alone I call your name, only to hear no answer,
Could call you on the telephone, but it doesn’t matter.
We weren’t meant to be together,that’s the way it is,
And it doesn’t really matter, a kiss is just a kiss.

Though I loved you dearly, i wasn’t always true.
I never really meant to do it, I’m sorry i hurt you.
You were always there when i needed you, a friend or a lover,
I could be what you were for me, I want you not another.

It’s too bad, the cold hard fact, that we weren’t meant to be,
Maybe someday it’ll change, and you’ll come running back to me.
But now i sit and wallow in sorrow, self pity, and guilt.
It was you, my darling one, who broke the armor i built.

I look up to you and most likely always will.
And if you find another girl, I will love you still.
Someday all of this will change, I know our love was meant to be.
And we will be together as one, just you wait and see.

3/9/89

Though we sit so close together,
I just can not feel you.
Is this what’s called “Love Forever”,
Or is this something new?
Sometimes it seems we are so far apart,
But sometimes the opposite,
Why do I feel we are falling apart.
When together we sit?

1989

The streets are empty, there’s nobody home,
The night is falling, alone I will roam.
I’m miles away from my family, got no friend,
This Life’s kicking me around, there is no End.

I glance at the stars, they’re shining bright,
There’s something in the air that’ll make it alright.
And you and me, we’ll make it through somehow,
The reason they hate us, we refused to Bow.

(Sometimes I feel like we’re all we’ve got,
Through all the battles that we have fought.
And it seems to me, you’re still the one,
Who stood by me, you are my Sun.)

It’s a lonely road I travel down today,
My traveling companion hasn’t much to say.
Out of the corner of my eye I see us play,
Some scene from our once younger day.

We’ve lost the effort, we’ve lost great time,
You can’t backtrack, it’s too hard a climb.
Stand in this space, we can resume where we were,
It takes little time to correct the blurs.

(chorus)
12-2-96