Cringing with a hunger from within,
Not knowing where it came in.
You think and think of what would quench it,
And decide the feeling is disappointment.
You think aloud “Where is he?
He’s certainly not where he said he’d be.”
But slowly the anger fades away,
And you think, “I’ll see him another day”
And then the thought “Maybe I wont…”,
“I’ll say I’m coming she’ll wait and I don’t.”
And then the thought “Maybe something’s happened?”
That’s when the anger slackens.
And then the thought “Who is he with, what’s he doing”
You feel your insides slowly unglueing.
The thought “If I find out what he did”,
If you don’t like it you’ll flip your lid.
“If he’s with another girl, I’ll be gone
He wont have me and will have to move on.”
And all this time he’s sound asleep,
And forgot you two were supposed to meet.

6-8-89

I guess you can call this a verse to my spouse…
I glance at the stranger that now shares my house,
From where did he walk in and steal my life,
I do not remember being this mans’ wife.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

There once was once upon a time,
In a different story, different rhyme,
A light that shone on the horizon for me,
But he blacked it out, I’m too blind to see.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

For now two strangers that pass in the night,
Sleep in silent conflict in a bed of spite,
For one them must simply turn away,
Or there will not be another day.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Despicable stranger that stands at my door,
Wanting my body and nothing more,
A single gold chain link to remind,
There was a time when things were kind.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

2-4-97

You speak my name as if you know me,
Standing confident, what do you show me?
There are no rites of passage here,
No signs to point the way that’s clear.
You call me beauty, you speak my name,
I watch in silence as you play your game.
Wanting my affection, wanting to draw close,
Yearning for me, for that final dose.
I hold no love, no emotion that’s true,
I type only words, from me to you.
They say it is lonely, to be all alone,
I’ve been at it so long my heart is a stone.
So light the fire, to warm my skin,
Sparks in my eyes, I hope you win.
You speak my name as if you know me,
But the Darkness I live in does control me.

11-6-96

The day is short, the nights are long,
Your angry heart must carry on.
The Stillness baiting, the tears are wept,
This emptiness has left you unkempt.
But you’re just finding ways to kill the pain,
Searching for the antidote for this deadly bane.
Does she make your heart go pitter pat?
Is she better than me, in the sack?
Your time’s run out, you feel the same,
But now this girl, she shares your claim.
And you’re just finding ways to kill the pain,
Searching for an antidote for this deadly bane.
You use and use, all at your disposal indeed,
At other’s expense do you try to relieve,
And deep inside, you still feel the same,
How much longer will you stand to place the blame?
Oh but you’re just finding ways to kill the pain,
For there’s no antidote for this deadly bane.
Time they say heals all wounds, so they say,
And as you revert down to stall, there is another way.
Though you may find solace there, a little or a lot,
There is no answer there, just the pain that you have brought.
There’s no finding ways to kill the pain,
In the end, it’s all the same.
11-23-01

Like a distant dream you recall in the mist,
You knew it once, but forgotten it since.
Glancing around for what you’ve misplaced,
You thought you saw it but you’re too busy in the race.

(Did you put your finger on it,
Did you blink and it had gone away.
On the tip of your tongue was it,
Though now it’s so far away.)

I do not hold the answer, don’t bother searching here,
I understand the feeling, when it almost becomes so clear.
You thought you knew it a moment ago, somehow it slipped away,
Waiting for you to sit and ponder, remember it another day.

(Chorus)

I know you see the answers, hidden in my eyes,
Listen when I tell you, ask no questions get no lies.
I don’t have what your looking for, I don’t know what it was,
Should you ever find it be sure to stop and give me a buzz.

(Chorus)

1996

I saw you walking with him
I saw you talking with him
Did you think I wouldn’t notice
Did you think that I was blind
Did you think I wouldn’t care
That he was stealing what was mine

(What did you expect me to do
Do you think I don’t love you
Did you want me to lay down and die
Fight for you or give up and cry)

Have I treated you bad
Have I ever made you sad
Do you think I don’t love you
Do you think that I don’t care
Do you think I’ll let him have you
While I’m just standing there

(Chorus)

What did you think I would do
Let him have his hands all over you
Did you think I wouldn’t react
Did you think I’d walk away
Did you think I’d really lose you
Because you want to act this way

(Chorus)

October 2 1995

Though the days do quickly pass
And my summers now winters share.
In a land that was forgotten
Now you can find me there.
Alone it seems in the dark
On a wave of shifting sand.
Until the light wash over me
And I remember who I am.
Where is the Time
For it does pass,
A minute and the hours,
Until again
I wear this mask,
And stand amidst the flowers.
Though the days do quickly pass
And my summers now winters share.
In a place I’d once forgotten
If only you didn’t care.
6-4-2001

Flashing deep into the night,
Suddenly an awesome sight.
Seeing you, Seeing me,
What more can it be?

Who are you, Creature of Darkness,
falling into everyone’s likeness.
Show me who you really are,
You turn into a movie star.

Evil Demon, straight from Hell,
I’m looking but i can not tell.
Wanting you, Wanting me,
I see you who do you see?

Stars are flashing in your eyes,
You walk as if you’re in disguise.
Where do you come from, Lover of Mine?
How Can you make and alter time?

Beauty deeper than the bone,
Heart & touch colder than stone.
How my heart beats fast with desire,
Yet you take me still much higher.

Do you want me to want you,
My soul you see straight through
All my lies you dissapaite
All the longing, all the wait.

Passion so sweet, Kisses so burning,
Knowing you are all I’m yearning
Twisting thoughts in your evil mind.
Yet you can still be so kind

4-9-89

It’s raining again today, just like yesterday,
I’m listening to the rain fall and the lightning play.
There’s nothing more to do, but sit and cry,
Since this rain has fallen, I’ve wanted to die.

There’s no loneliness that can’t be conquered,
No silence unbroken, no time that faltered.
There’s no dream that can’t mend in time,
If only just once the sun would shine.

The thunder calls out your name and mine,
As I watch dancers, dance out of time.
And glitter falls like dewdrops on the page,
The party goes on with the latest rage.

The sky so dark and gray it would seem,
That I am living some endless dream.
Of which I shall never once awake,
For never do I see the daybreak.

Why did we come here, what did we seek,
In this rain, at this party, did you peek?
The dancers dance without rhythm or rhyme,
When do we notice we’ve run out of time?

If I miss you, I mean I’m alone,
If I love you, my heart is of stone.
And if I should turn you away,
I’ve left the party for the rain to play.
9-4-96