Sorrow makes my heart yearn to break,
How much longer will this shadow take?
This clown mask I wear is not to fool,
Just a gleam to make a hot day cool.
No tears are shed, the smile will stay,
How long til the shadow fades away?
The dream relived, the song resung,
Until the old has re-begun.
I wish to fly to distant skies,
But the shadow lays in lies.
Category Archives: Poems
A Refusal Of Belief
Static forms on the tv set,
The information they forgot to get,
Was once on the 5 o’clock news,
When a dying man was singing the blues.
But now the systems change,
Now we stand to place the Blame,
A foolish pride in a foolish game,
Oh look Mommy here comes the rain.
It’s a refusal of belief that’s clear.
She screams in pain, the angels cease,
Where is this God for her belief,
With eyes so closed you’d never see,
What’s standing right in front of thee.
Souls escaping from a lead blazed trail,
As blood drenched money pays the bail,
Fat as they are they couldn’t fathom,
That something else out there is random.
It’s the refusal of belief I fear.
Through space and time we plant our eye,
On something further in the sky,
Heaven help us if we should die,
The confusion they caused with blatant lie.
It’s the refusal of belief I hear.
1998
Please Stop the Rain
I know you saw me standing
Please stop the rain
And I don’t know what you’re planning
Please stop the rain
It isn’t what you think, he and I
And when I turn and look at the greying sky
I see the tempered storm that brews in your eye
How could you even think, that I would lie
Please stop the rain
I only wanted to please you
Please stop the rain
I just did what I could do
Please stop the rain
I wouldn’t do it on purpose, to make you cry
And now on the horizon, I see a darkning sky
I sit here and pray, for the ground that’s high
For the anger you posses, a feeling I should die
Please stop the rain
I know you don’t believe me
Please stop the rain
But it’s you who do decieve me
Until you stop the rain.
6-5-96
Practicing Escape
If sometimes you look out of the corner of your eye,
And you see me doing something strange, don’t ask why.
I’m just practicing Escape.
If sometimes I say something just a little out of place,
And I don’t seem to want to look up into your face.
Don’t worry I’m just practicing Escape.
If you see me walking and observing what’s all around,
And it seems I’m searching, but nothing I’ve found.
I’m just practicing Escape.
If I seem tired and I’m lost deep in my thought,
And if I’m recalling of some Foe that I’ve fought.
Don’t worry I’m just practicing Escape.
Escape for me, should come easy, that is what you think,
Escape for me, so plain to see, quicker than you can blink.
If sometimes you look at me and I quickly look away,
And the problems that we have are saved for another day.
I’m just practicing Escape.
If you wonder if I hide my thoughts deep inside,
And for some strange reason take you on a strange ride.
Don’t worry I’m just practicing Escape.
If you think my feelings I’m hiding and wont show,
And you’re making plans to keep me and not let me go.
I’m no longer practicing Escape.
Escape for me, with practice is easy, I’m quicker than you think,
Escape for me, no one will see, vanished before you can blink.
8-27-96
Possession
I see all around me the Power you Posses,
And I see the magnitude equaled in your caress.
Oh how you rule my life, with your passion,
And the others do collide and come down crashin.
A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.
I remember the way you used to try to control me,
Fear gripping nights, they now enthrall me.
For I always knew, that truly deep inside,
Without me, there would be no Dark Ride.
A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.
I see you outside me for everything you are,
I accept all of these things, though I don’t go far.
For if it were my Power, T’would be the other way,
Rest assured just like you, I would make you stay.
A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.
Our esoteric love leaves nothing in it’s wake,
And beyond all else the Bonds shall never break.
For we two see each other for whom we Really are,
And no harm can come to us from under this Star.
A possession so Dear,
You protect it with Fear.
8-3-96
Ponderosa Hotel
Johnny he’s a real good guy, better watch your back,
Candi’s sweet as apple pie, she’s got that certain knack.
Toni he wont turn around, Jenny’s out too late,
Lil L don’t make a sound, Reaper’s on a date.
(I stare out my hotel window, drinking away my pain,
Reading Ponderosa Hotel reflected backwards in the rain.
The girls here are a sure bet, the candy for sale is sweet,
The buying and selling of every Soul out here on this street.)
The men with no traces come, seeking the innocent Randi,
Randi and Johnny have some fun, Blackmail feeds their family.
Jenny, she ran away, her daddy was all too kind,
Reaper likes to stay, Always preying on their Mind.
(Chorus)
Toni sells while Lil L, he’s always at his side,
Candi’s second sight can tell, if Money pays for the ride.
And as for me the seer, I am not even immune,
Though I may see it clearer, I am drunken by this Doom.
(Chorus)
8-29-96
Pilot How Much Farther
There was a disturbance in the air
A turbulence within despair.
And when I turned to glance at the wing,
I found myself staring at a thing.
The words I could contain no longer,
Pilot, can you tell me how much farther?
The air is thin, my ears wont pop,
That thing outside will not stop.
How long have I been in the air,
Will that thing let me get there.
I realize I’m starting to become a bother,
Pilot, is it that much farther?
I got this ticket in the mail,
Because I refused to set sail.
And stare at things deep in the sea,
Clambering their way up to me.
Though I have a feeling now I would rather,
Pilot, can you tell me how much farther?
To the place I’m going, if I should land,
Is no place that I really wanted to stand.
The thing on the wing is starting to move,
I think it’s becoming part of my groove.
I start to pray to the Father,
Pilot, will it be much longer?
1-29-98
The World Pass Me By
Stranger and stranger I seem to get,
The world pass me by,
Just when I though my ways were set,
I do not know why.
Things that could not possibly be,
Seem to drift past,
What is real and reality,
It’s going much to fast.
I do not control certain things,
This is not who I am.
I live now in a world of dreams,
Life of shifting sands,
I’ve changed my look to a stranger,
I’ve lost all control,
I didn’t catch the sign of danger,
Now what do I know?
What has become of me,
I now dress in black,
What am I supposed to be,
My belongings in a sack.
Now this world has changed,
I live in the twilight zone,
My clothes, my hair are disarranged,
I speak in no known tone.
I am strange, I see myself,
The world pass me by,
I am nor but someone else,
I stare at the sky.
The world has left me far behind,
I no longer change,
I like the stars must shine,
Why am I so strange.
1-2-90
Paranioa
Cringing with a hunger from within,
Not knowing where it came in.
You think and think of what would quench it,
And decide the feeling is disappointment.
You think aloud “Where is he?
He’s certainly not where he said he’d be.”
But slowly the anger fades away,
And you think, “I’ll see him another day”
And then the thought “Maybe I wont…”,
“I’ll say I’m coming she’ll wait and I don’t.”
And then the thought “Maybe something’s happened?”
That’s when the anger slackens.
And then the thought “Who is he with, what’s he doing”
You feel your insides slowly unglueing.
The thought “If I find out what he did”,
If you don’t like it you’ll flip your lid.
“If he’s with another girl, I’ll be gone
He wont have me and will have to move on.”
And all this time he’s sound asleep,
And forgot you two were supposed to meet.
6-8-89
Paralyzed by Pain
Here I sit and try to write,
I stare at the page so white.
Displayed on a moving screen,
a past of not so serene.
Clear my head, I know I must,
blow off this season of mistrust.
Clear my mind from what I seek,
for the chains that bind make me weak.
Trying to break a link in the chain,
the past too strong, I’m paralyzed by pain
Here I sit and try to dream,
I’m moved back to that dastardly screen.
I lived that life, it is the past,
burying it does not last.
Clear my head, why can’t I see,
the past becomes an undead zombie.
Clear my mind, when will I wake,
To stop counting each and every mistake.
It does not matter, again and again,
down I drown, paralyzed by pain.
Here I sit and try to wish,
my life had turned out better than this.
But the past will never let me go,
this damn ghost keeps stealing the show.
Clear my head, I know I must,
forget the lies and mistrust.
Clear my mind from what I seek,
before my future becomes too bleak.
And pick the lock that holds the chain,
that keeps me paralyzed by pain.
2010?